Amid a world overwhelmed by conflict, division, and uncertainty, do you ever feel powerless to make a difference — or even to find peace within yourself? You may think there is little or nothing you can do to help build peace in the world. I believe there is much that you can do, and it may be easier than you think.
YOU have within you the power to help build peace in the world. When you learn certain tools and practice them regularly, you will find inner peace. When you find inner peace you can then build it in your family, community, workplace … the world.
What is Inner Peace?
I love this poem that for me describes “inner peace”.
Peace.
It does not mean to be in a place
where there is no noise, trouble
or hard work.
It means to be in the midst of
these things and still be calm
in your heart. (Source unknown)
What does inner peace look and feel like for you? Take a few moments to get quiet and ask yourself the question, “What does inner peace look and feel like for me?” Notice what comes up. Write down your feelings. You may also wish to draw or paint a visual of what you experienced.
For me inner peace includes:
- Feeling centered and grounded
- Feeling and believing that I am enough
- Feeling that I belong and am safe
- Believing that I am part of something greater than myself and am here to make a difference in the world
- Being grateful for all that I have
- Believing the Universe is friendly and here to love and support me
- Being okay with uncertainty
- Feeling loved and nurtured when I take time for myself (not feeling guilty)
- Standing in my power, confidently expressing what I believe, and asking for what I want (not worrying about what others think or say)
- Having balance in my life
- Being in touch with and regularly tapping into my creative side
- Knowing what my passions, core values and life purpose are, and living a life aligned with them.
It Starts with You
Here are some proven strategies and powerful practices to help you to find inner peace.
- Quiet your busy mind through yoga, meditation, listening to relaxing music
- Engage in a passion such as dancing, gardening, painting, where you lose track of time and focus on the activity rather than your “to do” list
- Participate in mindfulness practices[1] (such as walking meditation) that enable you to be in the present moment
- Forgive yourself and others
- Listen to and trust in your body’s wisdom, and use it to guide your decisions and actions (Notice how you feel around people, and also how they react to you)
- Be grateful for what you have
- Surround yourself with people who nourish you rather than sap your energy
- Spend time regularly in nature
I encourage you to choose two or three of the above strategies and begin incorporating them into your life on a regular basis, and notice what you notice.
Building Peace in Your Family, Community, Workplace …
I’ve studied and been trained in conflict resolution, mediation and facilitation. I’ve had the opportunity to live and work in conflict zones including Afghanistan, Colombia, Pakistan and Nigeria. From my experiences working with people from a variety of ethno-cultural and religious backgrounds, I’ve learned the following.
- Treat people with respect and greet them with a smile.
The simple act of smiling (genuinely) connects us with others at work, in our families, and communities. I’ve been in situations where I didn’t speak the language of the person in front of me, and yet we were able to communicate. A smile opens up that “conversation”.
- Realize that people’s negative behaviors are usually not about you, but rather about them, and their past experiences.
There is a reason for all behavior. Rather that reacting negatively when someone does something that offends or upsets you, pause, take a deep breath and say to yourself Isn’t that curious, I wonder why they did that? OR What is happening for them today? Do I remind them of someone in their past who they fear or dislike? So rather than reacting, try to understand where they’re “coming from”.
I recall a time when I was managing a large international project and a Canadian administrative support person was assigned to work with me. From the time we began to work together, I sensed a tension between us. She said and did certain things that were really upsetting, and I wasn’t sure why. I reflected on how I had treated her from the outset and couldn’t uncover why she was treating me so negatively. Then it came to me, I reminded her of someone from her past; someone who she had negative feelings toward. Sure enough, after she was reassigned to another project and I shared in a conference call with the technical team all the good things about her and her work (as she was competent), things began to change. This woman shared that her sister was always popular in high school, and had a similar body structure to mine. I sensed that this was a time in this woman’s life when she didn’t feel confident about herself and was jealous of her sister. She also shared that she was often in pain. After that conference call, there was no longer tension between us and she often sought me out to share coffee together. Perhaps you’ve experienced something similar?
- Be Yourself (regardless of who you’re interacting with)
Experience has taught me that if I am real and authentic with whomever I interact with, it is easier for me to truly connect with them. Their bodies’ sense when I am acting or saying things out of alignment with who I really am. When I am “speaking my truth”, they know.
Being yourself enables you to truly connect with others whether they be in your family, community or workplace. When you let go of preconceived ideas about others, and how you should act in certain situations, it is much easier to “find inner peace” and model it for others. I’ve been asked if I act differently when working with Muslim men and I say “no”. I respect their culture (for example by wearing a head scarf and loose clothes in Afghanistan), and I “speak my truth” when I’m with them. I believe they respect me for that. The same holds true with family members. Now that my children are grown, I make a concerted effort to respect them for their decisions and only to contribute my ideas when asked. This is indeed challenging at times, however, I am learning.
My Vision
I see a world free of war and violence.
One where all cultures and religions are accepted.
Where all people are respected and treated with respect;
Where people live together in communities that model the values
of contribution, collaboration, caring and connection.
Where people are truly connected with who they are and the gifts they have to share.
Where creativity is valued, and everyone knows how to tap into and express their creative side.
Where people have the courage to reach out for support when they need it.
I see a world where people trust their bodies, value their own wisdom, and know when and how to say no;
One that believes in the power of groups and synergy, that the whole is greater than the sum of the parts;
A world, where women and men stand together as partners.
What’s your vision? What will YOU do to help build peace in the world?
[1] A tool from Eastern psychology that I have found extremely useful for getting “out of my head” and into my body is Mindfulness Walking Meditation. Mindfulness practices focus on the senses and feeling sensations and emotions in our bodies. When we do mindfulness walking meditation, we feel the ground beneath our feet, the breeze against our face, the cool air going from our nostrils down into our lungs. We smell the scent of salt or the aroma of lavender in the air and observe the scenery in front of us. We try to stay out of our minds, and experience our senses. Rather than spend a walk in nature constantly thinking and processing all the things we have to do, instead we stay present and experience nature and all of its beautiful sights, smells, sounds and sensations.
2. A previous version of this article was published in the January 2017 issue of “Eydis Authentic Living magazine”.