by pam | Nov 17, 2024 | Changemaker, Health & Well-being, Peacebuilding, Women in Business
Amid a world overwhelmed by conflict, division, and uncertainty, do you ever feel powerless to make a difference — or even to find peace within yourself? You may think there is little or nothing you can do to help build peace in the world. I believe there is much that you can do, and it may be easier than you think.
YOU have within you the power to help build peace in the world. When you learn certain tools and practice them regularly, you will find inner peace. When you find inner peace you can then build it in your family, community, workplace … the world.
What is Inner Peace?
I love this poem that for me describes “inner peace”.
Peace.
It does not mean to be in a place
where there is no noise, trouble
or hard work.
It means to be in the midst of
these things and still be calm
in your heart. (Source unknown)
What does inner peace look and feel like for you? Take a few moments to get quiet and ask yourself the question, “What does inner peace look and feel like for me?” Notice what comes up. Write down your feelings. You may also wish to draw or paint a visual of what you experienced.
For me inner peace includes:
- Feeling centered and grounded
- Feeling and believing that I am enough
- Feeling that I belong and am safe
- Believing that I am part of something greater than myself and am here to make a difference in the world
- Being grateful for all that I have
- Believing the Universe is friendly and here to love and support me
- Being okay with uncertainty
- Feeling loved and nurtured when I take time for myself (not feeling guilty)
- Standing in my power, confidently expressing what I believe, and asking for what I want (not worrying about what others think or say)
- Having balance in my life
- Being in touch with and regularly tapping into my creative side
- Knowing what my passions, core values and life purpose are, and living a life aligned with them.
It Starts with You
Here are some proven strategies and powerful practices to help you to find inner peace.
- Quiet your busy mind through yoga, meditation, listening to relaxing music
- Engage in a passion such as dancing, gardening, painting, where you lose track of time and focus on the activity rather than your “to do” list
- Participate in mindfulness practices[1] (such as walking meditation) that enable you to be in the present moment
- Forgive yourself and others
- Listen to and trust in your body’s wisdom, and use it to guide your decisions and actions (Notice how you feel around people, and also how they react to you)
- Be grateful for what you have
- Surround yourself with people who nourish you rather than sap your energy
- Spend time regularly in nature
I encourage you to choose two or three of the above strategies and begin incorporating them into your life on a regular basis, and notice what you notice.
Building Peace in Your Family, Community, Workplace …
I’ve studied and been trained in conflict resolution, mediation and facilitation. I’ve had the opportunity to live and work in conflict zones including Afghanistan, Colombia, Pakistan and Nigeria. From my experiences working with people from a variety of ethno-cultural and religious backgrounds, I’ve learned the following.
- Treat people with respect and greet them with a smile.
The simple act of smiling (genuinely) connects us with others at work, in our families, and communities. I’ve been in situations where I didn’t speak the language of the person in front of me, and yet we were able to communicate. A smile opens up that “conversation”.
- Realize that people’s negative behaviors are usually not about you, but rather about them, and their past experiences.
There is a reason for all behavior. Rather that reacting negatively when someone does something that offends or upsets you, pause, take a deep breath and say to yourself Isn’t that curious, I wonder why they did that? OR What is happening for them today? Do I remind them of someone in their past who they fear or dislike? So rather than reacting, try to understand where they’re “coming from”.
I recall a time when I was managing a large international project and a Canadian administrative support person was assigned to work with me. From the time we began to work together, I sensed a tension between us. She said and did certain things that were really upsetting, and I wasn’t sure why. I reflected on how I had treated her from the outset and couldn’t uncover why she was treating me so negatively. Then it came to me, I reminded her of someone from her past; someone who she had negative feelings toward. Sure enough, after she was reassigned to another project and I shared in a conference call with the technical team all the good things about her and her work (as she was competent), things began to change. This woman shared that her sister was always popular in high school, and had a similar body structure to mine. I sensed that this was a time in this woman’s life when she didn’t feel confident about herself and was jealous of her sister. She also shared that she was often in pain. After that conference call, there was no longer tension between us and she often sought me out to share coffee together. Perhaps you’ve experienced something similar?
- Be Yourself (regardless of who you’re interacting with)
Experience has taught me that if I am real and authentic with whomever I interact with, it is easier for me to truly connect with them. Their bodies’ sense when I am acting or saying things out of alignment with who I really am. When I am “speaking my truth”, they know.
Being yourself enables you to truly connect with others whether they be in your family, community or workplace. When you let go of preconceived ideas about others, and how you should act in certain situations, it is much easier to “find inner peace” and model it for others. I’ve been asked if I act differently when working with Muslim men and I say “no”. I respect their culture (for example by wearing a head scarf and loose clothes in Afghanistan), and I “speak my truth” when I’m with them. I believe they respect me for that. The same holds true with family members. Now that my children are grown, I make a concerted effort to respect them for their decisions and only to contribute my ideas when asked. This is indeed challenging at times, however, I am learning.
My Vision
I see a world free of war and violence.
One where all cultures and religions are accepted.
Where all people are respected and treated with respect;
Where people live together in communities that model the values
of contribution, collaboration, caring and connection.
Where people are truly connected with who they are and the gifts they have to share.
Where creativity is valued, and everyone knows how to tap into and express their creative side.
Where people have the courage to reach out for support when they need it.
I see a world where people trust their bodies, value their own wisdom, and know when and how to say no;
One that believes in the power of groups and synergy, that the whole is greater than the sum of the parts;
A world, where women and men stand together as partners.
What’s your vision? What will YOU do to help build peace in the world?
[1] A tool from Eastern psychology that I have found extremely useful for getting “out of my head” and into my body is Mindfulness Walking Meditation. Mindfulness practices focus on the senses and feeling sensations and emotions in our bodies. When we do mindfulness walking meditation, we feel the ground beneath our feet, the breeze against our face, the cool air going from our nostrils down into our lungs. We smell the scent of salt or the aroma of lavender in the air and observe the scenery in front of us. We try to stay out of our minds, and experience our senses. Rather than spend a walk in nature constantly thinking and processing all the things we have to do, instead we stay present and experience nature and all of its beautiful sights, smells, sounds and sensations.
2. A previous version of this article was published in the January 2017 issue of “Eydis Authentic Living magazine”.
by pam | Apr 13, 2021 | Change, Changemaker, Feminine Leadership, Leadership, Women in Business
In a recent post I shared how if you want to “be the change” you want to see in the world, it is essential to do some inner exploration. [1] I call it “exploring your inner landscape” – those beliefs, stories, and emotions that unconsciously run your life.
Many of us from a young age know “in our bones” we are here to make a significant difference in the world. That said, a number of us have no clue as to what that difference is.
To get clear on the difference you are here to make, it is important to uncover your unique talents and identify your passions.
I particularly like the definition Janet and Chris Attwood give to the word “passion” in their book The Passion Test. They say that “your passions are the loves of your life … things that are most deeply important to you … things that, when you’re doing them or talking about them, light you up.” They also note that “passion and love are inextricably intertwined because both arise from the heart. When you follow your passion, you will love your life.”
When you discover your passion and live your life aligned with it, you feel truly joyful, fulfilled, and at peace. It lights your fire and fuels your enthusiasm for life. You feel that you are indeed doing something that makes a positive difference in the world.
We all have unique gifts and talents to share with the world. Here’s a short exercise to help you clarify yours.
1. Draw a chart with two columns. In the first column, write down all the things that you are good at, or things that come easily and naturally to you. They could be things such as athletics, mathematics, writing, whatever you feel fits.
2. In the second column, write down the things you enjoy doing. They could include being in nature, teaching others, using your body, playing piano….If you feel challenged by this, think back to what you enjoyed doing as a child.
3. Now look at both lists and circle the items that are similar or identical. Then review the circled items. Go inside and get in touch with the feeling each one evokes inside you. Does it excite you? Does it have little or no effect on you? Rate each item on a scale from 1 to 10 according to the level of passion you have around it (1 being “no interest at all” and 10 being “red hot”).
I encourage you to do this exercise. Sharing your findings with others has additional impact as you may gain insights and support from them.
I’d like to emphasize that just being good at something doesn’t mean it is your passion or will fulfill you if you work in that area. What you’re good at can provide clues to our passions but are not necessarily connected with them. A passion is often a blend of what we love and what we’re good at. As well, a passion may change during our lifetime. [2]
So, what’s next? After you discover your passion(s) it’s helpful to identify either a new area of work you wish to pursue or a volunteer activity that will “light you up”. Getting support from a coach or mentor can be helpful at this point.
An organization that I’m passionate about that is alignment with my passions of loving travel and working with diverse people and cultures, teaching, coaching, and mentoring, designing and co-creating workshops, projects and programs that have social impact, and my own love of learning, as well as my values of: contribution and connection is Female Wave of Change – https://femalewaveofchange.com. I am honored to be Ambassador for Canada of Female Wave of Change, a global movement that unites women (and some men) changing the world into a better place for future generations through authentic feminine leadership. As part of my commitment to growing the community in Canada I recently incorporated the national non-profit Female Wave of Change Canada – https://fwoccanada.com.
If you value being part of a community of heart-centered women from diverse backgrounds and cultures, are passionate about making a difference in one or several of the areas of: environment, education, economy, health, and humanity, I encourage you to check us out. Questions? Email pamela@femalewaveofchange.com.
[1] https://old.pamela-thompson.com/how-to-be-the-change-part-1/
[2] This section and exercise is largely excerpted from my book Learning to Dance with Life: A Guide for High Achieving Women, chapter 8, pp. 107-109.
by pam | Nov 22, 2020 | Change, Changemaker, Creative Living, Feminine Leadership, Leadership, Women in Business
The way many of us in the world are currently living and working is not sustainable. The way our organizations and societies are structured, how they are led, and how success is defined are being questioned. Our day-to-day actions and the beliefs and values on which they are based, are resulting in many of us experiencing chronic stress leading to negative impacts on our bodies, minds, relationships, productivity, and our bottom lines.
Our reliance on fossil fuels and a world focusing on consumption and the belief that earth’s resources are infinite are now being challenged. We now have data to show how nature can heal itself if we let her. Many of us are finally embracing the need to take action to preserve and save our beautiful planet and the fauna and the flora within it.
COVID-19 has shone the light on a number of the inequalities such as systemic racism, gender-based violence … and we are now acknowledging that we need to take action NOW toward creating a world that works for everyone.
What can you do? Where can you start?
We know that change starts from the inside-out and begins with each and every one of us.
The 7 keys to what I call Creative Living and the strategies and practices associated with them are an excellent starting point to begin to “be the change”.
I introduced the concept of Creative Living in my book “Learning to Dance with Life: A Guide for High Achieving Women”. Creative Living is defined as the “conscious cultivation of improved health, happiness, fulfillment and inner peace.”
There are 7 keys to Creative Living with proven practices and powerful strategies based on my own journey and work with clients from diverse cultures and backgrounds that are supported by evidence from neuroscience, the health promoting and healing benefits of the arts, organizational development and eastern psychology.
The 7 keys to Creative Living are: 1) Listen to and Trust in Your Body’s Wisdom; 2) Tap into and Express Your Creative Side; 3) Consciously Create Right and Left Brain/Body Balance; 4) Live in Alignment with Your Core Values; 5) Believe that You are Here to Make a Difference; 6) Learn from and Embrace Life Transitions; and 7) Find Inner Peace and Build Peace in Your Family, Community, Workplace … the World.
If you would like to learn more you can access “Learning to Dance with Life” on Amazon. Here’s a link: Learning to Dance with Life: A Guide for High Achieving Women
In my next few posts, I will be sharing how each of the 7 keys can support you to “be the change” you want to see in the world. Stay tuned!
I’d love to hear from you. Feel free to share your comments below; e.g. What strategy or strategies do you believe are important for creating a world that works for everyone?
by pam | Mar 10, 2020 | Change, Changemaker, Leadership, Women in Business
There’s been a lot of talk in
recent years about women “being the change” we want to see in the world. Yet how do you “be the change” in your
day-to-day life? Here are a few thoughts that I hope will stimulate some of
your own.
How can we be the change we want to see in our homes?
- By choosing to share household responsibilities with our partners such as cooking, cleaning, yard work … and modelling these choices for our children
- Teaching our boys as well as our girls to cook, clean, do the dishes …
- Teaching our girls as well as our boys to mow lawns, shovel snow …
- Becoming financially literate. By this I mean “ … the possession of the set of skills and knowledge that allows an individual to make informed and effective decisions with all of their financial resources” (Source – Wikipedia; ) and ” … the ability to understand and effectively apply various financial skills, including personal financial management, budgeting, and investing. Financial literacy helps individuals become self-sufficient so that they can achieve financial stability.” (Source – https://www.investopedia.com/terms/f/financial-literacy.asp)
- Teaching our children financial literacy.
How can we be the change we want to see in our
communities?
- By identifying an issue we are passionate about and initiating
a project/program to make a difference in this issue (e.g. nutritious school meal
programs; animal welfare; homelessness)
- By identifying an existing group or organization that
is championing an issue we feel passionate about and contributing our relevant
knowledge, skills and/or our financial resources to that organization or group.
How can we be the change we want to see in our work?
- If we see issues we feel strongly about that are not
being handled effectively in our workplaces (e.g. gender inequality, need for
diversity training … ), we may observe and collect data to support our case and
identify others within the setting to support us to make a case to management.
- If we own our own businesses we may choose to donate
our time and/or money to an organization whose work we value (such as a group
that is pro zero waste, sustainability, women’s rights … )
- If we own our own businesses we may choose to develop
and offer workshops and keynotes to public and private sector organizations on
topics of interest and expertise such as: diversity and inclusion training,
change management, feminine leadership.
Now, over to you. What suggestions do you have for how you and
others can “be the change” you want to see in your households, communities,
workplaces …?
I welcome your comments
below.
by PT-clc | Jan 12, 2020 | Changemaker, Embracing Change, LeadinginUncertainTimes, Women in Business
A new year holds promise and also brings with it
uncertainty.
How do you respond to
uncertainty as a leader and changemaker? Do you typically greet it with
open arms, or hide from it pretending you have all the answers, as you feel
uncomfortable not knowing the outcomes.
What happens when you
approach uncertainty believing you have all the answers? You may set goals
and push through to accomplish them, focusing mainly on the metrics, without
taking into consideration your people and an intervention’s impact on your
organization and its culture. You may miss out on opportunities and creative
solutions that can arise from uncertain situations.
To illustrate what
happens when we greet uncertainty with open arms …
One of the things I’ve enjoyed about working in international health and development is the uncertainty, and with that, the opportunities for new and creative solutions, that present themselves. For example, when I was working in Afghanistan about 10 years ago as a Senior Technical Advisor in Planning and Performance Measurement, I met with the Minister the second day of my 9-month contract. At that time, she shared that although their original plan was to hire a policy and a planning advisor, since I had some experience with policy that she wanted me, within the first month, to give her a report of my impressions of her Ministry’s policy development and planning processes and what recommendations I would offer to improve them. This, on top of the tight timeframe I had to work with her folks to develop the Ministry’s first strategic plan and build their capacity in planning!
I went back to my office and asked the Afghan physician and policy advisor who sat beside me, if he had an org chart of the Ministry in English. He said “no” but he had one in local language. He printed one out for me and I asked him to tell me which departments were in the 15 boxes below the Minister and Deputies and the names of each Director while at the same time writing them all in English on the chart. Then I asked if he would take me to each one of their offices and introduce me to them (a few at a time).
At that time, I shared with each person that I would appreciate the opportunity to meet with them for 1 to 1.5 hours over the next day or so, and asked if there was a time that would work for them. I then followed up with the interview questions by email, which I quickly formulated. Within a month I had interviewed the top 15 department heads, rolled up in a report for the Minister what THEY perceived where the key strengths and weaknesses in their policy development and planning processes, their suggestions for improvement and added my own recommendations. In addition to learning a lot about how policy development, implementation and planning was done at the Ministry, I also had met one-on-one with 15 influential leaders in the organization, which served me well in the coming months.
If I had planned the above scenario in advance, it couldn’t
have worked out better!
What ingredients are
required of leaders and changemakers so we can more effectively deal with
uncertainty and embrace it?
I believe the following are important in this complex and
rapidly changing world we live and work in:
- Authenticity
– Acknowledging that you do not have all the answers or aren’t sure what to do.
- Flexibility
– Creating opportunities to reflect, and the ability to change direction during
a process that has an uncertain outcome (e.g. culture change process) .
- Emotional
Intelligence – Recognizing your own strengths and weaknesses, surrounding
yourself with a team that has complementary skills and personality traits to
yours, inviting their thoughts and suggestions, and truly listening to what
they have to say.
- Process
Understanding and Inclusive Orientation – Valuing a facilitated process
that encourages different voices to be heard and supports diversity.
- Openness
to new ideas – Inviting creative ideas and listening to what people are saying;
(e.g. providing opportunities to encourage people to tap into and express their
creative sides).
- Trust
that everything will work out. Chaos theory has demonstrated that order
comes out chaos.
Uncertainty conjures up fear in many of us; however if we greet it with open arms and include the ingredients above, incredible opportunities and solutions are possible!
How do you embrace uncertainty? I invite your thoughts below.
by PT-clc | Nov 12, 2019 | Changemaker, Dealing with Stress, Healthy Organizations, High Achieving Women, Leadership, Stress Management, Women in Business
Do you feel like there
are never enough hours in the day? Do you crave guilt-free time with family and
friends without that “to-do” list nagging you in the back of your brain? Do you
long for some time for you, to just “be”?
I understand. I’ve been where you are. In December 2012, I
almost burnt out. I had been working on a one-year contract with a non-profit
that promotes women’s and children’s rights around the world. When the
opportunity came my way, I was excited as I felt so aligned with their mission
and values.
As I flew to several African countries for project start-up,
I felt energized and passionate; excited to meet the teams on the ground and
learn about their needs and how I might be of support. 6 months in, I started
to feel SOoo tired and that there was so much to do and so little time. Do you relate?
I was initially hired to be a Senior Health Advisor on 5
projects in Asia and Africa to reduce infant and maternal mortality. That
morphed to 7 projects in 7 countries. I was initially to be a member of a
multi-stakeholder working group of four non-profits that had received a large
amount of donor funding to hire a research institute to evaluate the combined
impact of all of our projects in Asia and Africa. Within a month of starting
the position, I was informed that I was the Chair of that working group. The
Chairperson position became almost a full-time job on its own.
I was working night and day feeling so committed to what I
was doing and wanting to do the best job I could. Near the end of the contract
the non-profit invited me to stay on for another 6 months in a reduced role, 2
days a week chairing the multi-stakeholder working group. I was close to
signing the new contract and asked to sleep on the decision. I awoke the next
morning feeling like a lemon that had been squeezed dry. In that moment I knew
that I finally had to listen to my body and take a break. So I turned down the
opportunity. The VP and Director I’d been working with were shocked and asked
me why. I said “because I want to create more balance in my life”. At the time
I had no idea what that meant or what my life would look like but, but I
started 2013 with no work on my plate, committed to reconnecting with family
and friends and spending a lot of time in nature. I studied mindfulness,
started to meditate daily and continued with regular yoga practice. I slept 10,
12, 13 hours a night and after 4 months was still tired. So I went to a naturopath
who put me on some homeopathic meds and within a month or so I started to get
my energy back and feel more like myself.
About 5 months in, the 7 keys to what I call Creative Living; 7 keys to consciously
cultivating improved health, happiness, fulfillment and inner peace in your
life, came to me. I then began writing my first book “Learning
to Dance with Life: A Guide for High Achieving Women” which made #1 on
Amazon on launch day. It is a guide for women, as well as men, who constantly
“give” and “do” out of balance with “receiving” and “being”.
Burnout and adrenal fatigue are reaching epidemic
proportions. In May of 2019, the World Health Organization (WHO) revised its
classification of burnout from a medical
condition to an occupational
phenomenon. Their definition:
“Burn-out is a syndrome
conceptualized as resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been
successfully managed. It is characterized by three dimensions:
- feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion;
- increased mental distance from one’s job, or feelings of negativism or cynicism related to one’s job; and
- reduced professional efficacy. ” [1]
The importance of this change in the WHO classification is
that it acknowledges that organizations and their leaders have a role to play
in reducing workplace stress; rather than burnout being perceived as a personal
medical issue, a sign of weakness and something to be hidden and ashamed of.
To learn more about burnout, its symptoms and causes see: https://old.pamela-thompson.com/how-to-know-if-youre-burning-out-what-to-do-about-it/
Proven Strategies and Powerful Practices
How can we as leaders
and changemakers turn this epidemic around? It starts with us, and our own lives. Here are
a few strategies I’ve personally found effective and have shared with coaching
and consulting clients around the world.
- Integrate mindfulness practices into your life daily. Mindfulness practices help us get out of our heads and into our bodies. They originate from Buddhism. Body scanning is a good place to start. Each morning on awakening scan your body from the top of your head to the tips of your toes. Notice any areas of tension or discomfort. Breathe into those areas and release them. Imagine them flowing out of your body. Mindfulness walking meditations are another practice. I recommend initially doing these 3 times a week for 15 to 20 minutes a day; for example, at a lunch break or immediately after work. Ideally do this outdoors in a park or in nature if possible. Focus on all of your senses. Hear the crunch of leaves underfoot, smell the salty sea air, view the beautiful vistas surrounding you, feel the wind on her cheeks. When thoughts come in to your head, imagine they are clouds. Let them drift by and resume focusing on all of your senses. Notice what you notice during the walking meditations and after.
- Listen to
and Trust in Your Body’s Wisdom. This is one of the 7 keys in my book. What
I know to be true is that our bodies always know the truth. Many of us were
raised in cultures that value and focus on our rational, logical left brain and
staying in our heads. Mindfulness practices help us get back into our bodies,
and learn to listen to and trust them. Try something as simple as when you feel
tired, go to sleep rather than pushing through that last task before heading to
bed. When a decision doesn’t feel right, try going with your gut rather than
rationalizing a decision. For more tools that assist you to learn to make
decisions using your body’s wisdom check out chapter 4 in Learning to Dance with Life.
- Tap into
and Express Your Creative Side. Is
there something you enjoy doing that when you do it you become immersed in it
and lose track of time? Could be film editing, painting, writing,
gardening, cooking … . Chances are when you have this experience, it is one of
your passions, and when you tune into it you are tapping into your creative
right brain. Usually you feel energized and positive while engaging in a
passion. When you are filled with childlike wonder you also get out of your
head and into your body. Regularly taking time to do something you enjoy that
is creative helps reduce the stress in your body and takes your mind off work.
- When you feel stressed Deep breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth consciously
making a noise on the out breath. Do this about three times and notice what
you notice. This practice stimulates the release of the hormone oxytocin that
relaxes us and makes us feel good.
- Set firm
boundaries; i.e. learn to say “no”. In order to do this it is helpful to
clarify your core values (For more info
on values see https://old.pamela-thompson.com/do-you-live-in-alignment-with-your-core-values/)
– and ask yourself: Is this activity or
this organization in alignment with my top 5 core values? Another
question to ask is: Will this activity
bring me joy? Do I have time to add this activity to my plate?
- Celebrate
successes – big and small. Rather than checking a completed project or key
activity off your list and quickly moving onto the next, take time to celebrate
it with yourself and with other special people in your life. This can be as
simple as taking a moment to go inside yourself and acknowledging the work
you’ve done and feeling good about what you’ve accomplished. It could be
treating yourself to a massage, bubble bath or pedicure or going out for a
special dinner with a friend or partner.
I invite you to commit to integrating two or three of the above strategies into your life starting tomorrow. If you would like to learn more about how to stay happy, healthy and grounded while being successful in life and business check out my book Learning to Dance with Life – www.amazon.com/dp/B0145ZGDO2 – which is backed up by evidence from neuroscience, eastern psychology and the health-promoting and healing benefits of the arts.
I welcome your
experiences and comments below. What strategies have you found successful in
reducing work-related stress?
[1] https://www.who.int/mental_health/evidence/burn-out/en/
